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Relationship Wedding

11 Things To Discuss With Your Partner Before Getting Married

A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together, But when the two souls become one. The concept of marriage has taken a huge transformation nowadays. The so-called taboos about marriages like ‘jyada nai bolna, sirf jo puche utni baat karna, kabhi bhi tankhaa nai puchna,’ etc have taken a backseat. Now girls are open and discuss things with their partners’ that they feel are important for their relationship. 

Things To Discuss With Your Partner Before Getting Married

Nowadays relationships are discussed openly to avoid any confusion or problem later in the marriage. Couples don’t feel uncomfortable asking questions to each other that are not only important but most likely the stepping stones to their new, love-filled relationships. Earlier, during the times of our parent’s marriage, it wasn’t considered good or worthy to discuss our expectations, likes, or dislikes, but it’s the 21st generation, you are the creator and savior of your own marriage.

Let’s discuss these crucial points mentioned below with our partners and make our marriages tranquil.

1. Expectations

Marriages are not easy as they seem. I still remember the old saying by my dadi,’ shadi karni assan hai, nibhani mushkil’’. Whatever expectations you have from your partner before or after marriage (considering both boy and girl sides) should be discussed openly. Though it’s good to expect, but great to tell or share your expectations with your partner. For eg, you want to live in a separate house after the wedding, but not with a joint family or you want your wedding to look a certain way, and he will know of this if you have shared it with him. Therefore to make your marriage healthy, you both must discuss the expectations and plan things accordingly. 

2. Insecurities

Being with one person for the whole life sounds amazing but one can have fear of losing or cheating, that is quite obvious. Insecurities come very naturally in human beings. For eg, what if you feel insecure about his female colleagues or friends, or if he feels the same for you. Rather than having problems later in your married life, it’s always suggested to open things beforehand and avoid any such things. 

3. Family Planning

This is The.Most.Important.Thing. to talk about before marriage. This very common question asked from couples, “khushkhabri kab milegi” has created unnecessary pressure on them. What if they want to plan a family after some years or decide not to have a baby at all. Now things are not as they were 20-30 years back when having a family is the ultimate meaning of marriage. Now couples are opting not to have a kid or extend their family, because either they are too content in their life, or don’t feel the need of having a kid, or even they are not ready physically, or mentally, or financially. Now couples do consider all these points before taking the next step in family planning. So it’s better if you two talk about this topic in advance and you both are in consent of whatever you decide.

4. Finances

Life after marriage doesn’t only mean you have someone there for you 24×7, someone who will always be there for you in all the ups and downs, or someone who is going to open the door, when you come back from the office. Marriage also brings a number of responsibilities including ‘how to manage the finances’, is having an ‘X package is sufficient for the two of you? What if you expect a nice, huge house to stay in after the wedding, or what if you like to go to restaurants every weekend, or want to go shopping at least once a month.

All these things must be discussed before the wedding, taking into consideration of the fixed income of your partner or any other source of income if he has. Investments that he has made if any. You should be aware of it all, and he should be open to discussing it with you.

5. Past relationships or any other secrets

When you plan for a new life, it should be a new chapter completely. No secrets of the past, no memories of your ex, because that will make it easy for you to be a part of this new, beautiful life that you are about to start with your partner. If you feel comfortable, do discuss these things with your partner, once and for all, and never speak about it again.

If he shares something from his past, be patient, and listen to what he is saying, and why he is saying it. Support him, hug him, and torn the pages of that book forever. This will be the best thing for the two of you and your marriage. 

6. Priorities

Family, wife, friends, kids, relatives, everyone needs priority and time. Act and choose wisely. The couple has to prioritize the work and time so that the relationship works smoothly. There is no distress in discussing earlier, in fact, it will settle down many things that you might be uncomfortable about.

7. Freedom to work after the wedding

Being a working woman or a homemaker is your own choice. Nowadays, partners support and appreciate their wives working and being independent, but it’s always good to bring up the topic beforehand to avoid any problems.

8. Do you share a common interest in traveling?

“Arre’ adventurous hona b sabki bas ki baat nai hai’’. You can never force anyone to travel with you, until and unless they want to do it. In some cases, if one partner is enthu about traveling and the other is not, it really becomes an awkward situation. Also, sometimes, one likes to stay in a resort and other likes to explore the city or some likes to visit remote mountains/beaches and the other partner only likes to travel to big cities. There are many differences that may. occur if you don’t talk about your preferences before taking the marriage route.

9. Is he okay with you having male friends and how comfortable are you with his female friends

Nobody likes interferences especially when it comes to friends. Being understanding and cooperative is good but are you, really, ok with his female friends or he, with your male friends? This is undoubtedly a major factor for a couple’s relationship stability, you have to clear about these things for a successful marriage.

10. Where do you want to stay, with family or two of you

Our working lifestyle and the trend of living in a nuclear family is a big vogue for all. This can save the couple from many long-lasting conflicts if they talk about it in advance. Living alone doesn’t mean having to cut off with the family completely, it just means that you two like to stay alone, in your own space, under your own terms. This will make the bond stronger!

11. Will he/she share equal responsibilities

In a world, where men and women both are working equally, then why not talk about managing and taking care of your home and responsibility towards your family, equally? This point from your checklist can make things easy for your future.

Benefits of discussing certain points with your partner

  1. It will develop mutual understanding and respect.
  2. Establish a stronger bond.
  3. Transparency in the relationship and thoughts.
  4. Blossom the caring behavior.
  5. Strengthen the trust.
  6. Enhance the healthy life.
  7. Leave no reason to fight.
  8. It will boost the systematic lifestyle.
  9. Builds coherency in life.
  10. Remove the unnecessary stress and burden from life.

Conclusion

All marriages can be heaven on earth if just given extra care and open chats. The following things can be discussed for the easy-going of the relationship. The couple has to figure out how to make their relationship work more beautifully. Lets, promise to adapt and follow these points seriously to have more fun in life after wedding.

By Radhika Sharma

Professor by profession. Blogger, painter, and spiritual by choice!
Loves nature, colors, and instrumental music.
A passionate learner and a bit stubborn by birth!

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