Most of us feel shy or uncomfortable talking about the “First Night” experience with our parents, elders, or even friends sometimes. This is a very sensitive topic but we feel one should talk about it as it gives us awareness and tips to lead a happy married life.
As you know that you are going to enter into your new phase of life, multiple questions are going through your head. How will the new family be? Will I be able to adjust to them? Will they be able to adjust with me? What if I miss my family way too much? or How will our first wedding night be? What will happen on the first night? Will it be too painful? What if I am too tired and don’t want to have sex on the first night? There are several (obvious) questions that come to your mind before the wedding night and trust us, it’s perfectly okay to have these thoughts.
Things that no one tells you about your wedding night!
Since childhood, we have looked up Bollywood movies, not for the ultimate entertainment but also inspiration. We have often seen, once the wedding is done, the couple is in their fancy, decorated room, having a glass of milk and then the lights go off and they are both onto the next thing…SEX. But in real life, it’s not the same. It’s different for each couple.
Sex is not the ultimate thing that has to happen on your wedding night. There are things more comforting and realistic that happen on your first night, and we are sure you might be able to relate to most of these listed below. To help you, we have listed things that no one tells about your wedding night, but you should know!
1. You might not even have sex on your wedding night
Yes, that’s true. No matter for how long you have been waiting for this night, what all fascinations and romantic imaginations you had in mind when you two will be together for the first time. The fact is, you might not even have sex on your first night, and it’s okay. You can spend time talking about what happened at the wedding, or just kissing each other.
2. You may be in a different state of mind
Doesn’t matter how excited we are to get married to the love of our life, but leaving our family, our parents are probably the hardest thing a girl has to do. And it will take time for a girl to adjust to the new family, new traditions, new atmosphere and during all this, you want to take your own sweet time to get comfortable with everything.
3. You will be exhausted
Weddings are dreamy, filled with lots of emotions, week-long ceremonies, rituals, and by the time it’s all over, you two are completely exhausted and sex is not the first thing that comes to your mind. You may just want to relax or soak in everything that happened at the wedding.
As both of you will be tired, and most probably sleep-deprived, you may rather end up sleeping. This may not sound sexy to you right now, but it is normal.
4. You might not get any privacy as you thought!
First of all, let’s get realistic, as soon as the wedding gets over and you get home, you don’t straight away go to your bedroom. There are way too many rituals that happen when a bride comes home, especially in Hindu weddings. So you may have to wait for some more time, before you two can be together in a room, all alone. And when it’s time for you to go to your room, a lot of his cousins, relatives, would accompany you to your beautifully decorated room, forgetting that’s your first night and you two want privacy.
5. You will be starving a lot
Weddings are full of dancing and hogging food, but not for the couple. Since there are multiple ceremonies, several people to attend and of course because of excitement, you two hardly get any time to eat the food at your wedding. But as soon as your reach back home, you will be starving badly, and since it’s a new place, new home, new people for you, you won’t be very open to telling them that you are hungry.
6. It can be a painful experience
Not all roses are red, and not all experiences are as beautiful as told. Most of the time we are told of the fact that the first night of your wedding is nothing but amazing, and non-painful. But it’s not the same for everyone. Some people experience a lot of pain, and it’s even hard to do it on the first night, while for some, it’s a comfortable experience.
7. Your hairpins may take hours to come out
As soon as you are in your room, the first thing that you want to do is, not sex, but take out your heavy bridal attire, jewellery, and those hundreds of hairpins stuck in your head. Trust me, it’s annoying when you have to take out those hairpins that may take an hour to come out, leaving you more exhausted.
8. You may not be able to find your perfect clothes
Out of many suitcases, it’s really hard to get that one suitcase that has the perfect nightwear you packed for this special night.
9. He might even sleep before you
And it’s quite normal. He is as tired and sleepy as you, and if he dozes off before you, it’s okay! You two are going to spend the rest of your life with each other, and it’s not the only night that you should think of.
10. Only talking is ‘OKAY’ on your wedding night
Wedding night doesn’t only mean sex. It’s also a new beginning of your relationship, a new bond, and you two may only want to hug and make new promises and talk to each other about your life ahead and how this new relationship is important to both of you and what all you will do to make it work and fill it with love every single day.
11. The first time will be awkward for both of you
Doesn’t matter how many times you two have met, how many times you have kissed, the moment you get married, you two become different personalities, bonded by the sacred union called marriage. As soon as you two are left alone in the room, in your room, it will be different. You may even feel a little shy or awkward doing it for the first time as husband and wife.
12. Not everyone bleeds on the first night
Yes, and it’s normal. A woman bleeds during intercourse because her hymen breaks when she has sex for the first time. This is only true if the thin membrane called hymen is intact. But if you are involved in rigorous physical activities like riding, cycling, water sports, etc then the hymen may tear already and you may not even be aware of it. So don’t worry if you do not bleed while having sex for the first on your wedding night.
If it’s an arranged marriage, where you hardly know each other, you can just talk and know more about each other. Even if it is a love marriage and you know each other well still it’s different for the first time.
We suggest you both just go with the flow, and not have a thousand questions, if’s & but’s in your head. Enjoy the moment you have been waiting for since long!