Marriages are believed to be the meeting of two soulmates physically and mentally. Marriage is supposed to make our journey of life easy and better. It embraces companionship, prosperity, and love between two people. It seems to be a bed of roses, where all our problems will magically disappear, and we will lead a happily ever after. Honestly, this is not the true story for everyone. There are hidden problems behind the lovey-dovey Instagram photos and fake smiles. There are some practical difficulties and also mental entanglements that make your marriage a little complicated. Most couples overcome these hurdles together for a better future, while some do not compromise and may end up choosing separate paths for each other.
A successful marriage depends upon how we deal with the mental challenges that may come our way. A supportive and understanding partner makes the journey enjoyable, but a rigid, stubborn partner further increases the problems.
Mental Health Challenges After Marriage
Marriage is a bitter-sweet relationship, sometimes it gives more love than you think you ever deserved, and other times, it may take everything from you, leaving a toll on your mental health.
A couple may be in a relationship for years, but marriage is the onset of new relationships. It is like a new birth for both partners.
We also believe that boys do not face any charges, or problems after getting married as their life mostly remains the same. They do not have to leave their house to live with a bunch of strangers or change their lifestyle at all, but that’s not completely true. Even they have to adjust with their partners, change their lifestyle, habits, share their room, and many other things.
He may also find it mentally exhausting and challenging to understand his partner or the institution of marriage, and they may handle situations differently than women.
Mental Health Issues for a Women
It’s a universally accepted fact that after marriage, a girl has to leave her parents’ house and live with her husband. Every girl has her dreams and aspirations with her partner. She is excited to start her new life, but at the same time, she is going to miss her old life.
After marriage, she steps into a completely new family. Everything has changed for her, her room, her basic surroundings, and at times she might even have to leave her job after getting married. She is now among the new family members. Every relationship is a new one that she has to nurture with love and respect. These big and small changes have a lot of impact on your mental health.
Especially in an Indian household where being newly married can be exhausting. There are high expectations from the new family and her partner. She is supposed to adapt to the changes quickly, without even objecting. These changes do not also have to be difficult to adapt to or against her will, but adapting them in one go or just in a few days could be difficult for her, and may affect her mental health. Now, it is important to understand the mental health issues that may surface during the initial phase and how to deal with them at the same time. If we ignore these small problems, they may prop up to big marital issues and mental health issues. For this, it is essential to understand the real emotions, talk to your partner and try to find a solution.
Here are a few mental health issues a woman might face during her initial married phase.
1. The Sense of Over Responsibility
After marriage, a woman is expected to be more responsible in no time. They are supposed to take care of everything and everyone even before she knows them well. Even if she has a job, she has to manage household chores, along with other responsibilities. It may lead to an increase in her stress levels. Before marriage, she has a lesser family responsibility, but after marriage, it is completely opposite.
Especially if you are working full time, it will be really difficult for you to juggle up home and office properly.
Before getting married, you are a free bird. You can go wherever you want, do whatever you like. After marriage, there is a drastic change in these decisions. You may even have to leave your friends because your partner may not like them or don’t like the idea of you having male friends. You have to consult your partner for such things or discuss before making any commitments. You cannot just make decisions on your own and not tell your partner or family about them. And it’s not only from your end, you will expect the same transparency from your partner’s side too. It is a huge lifestyle change, and coping up with it might not be very easy initially. But we are certain, after some time, you will enjoy discussing the smallest of things with your partner and being the go-to person for each other while making small or big life decisions.
Initially, it will be a lot to take and to adjust to this new lifestyle or having a person 24/7 by your side and make decisions on your behalf and in all this, you lose your individuality At times, you may like it, but after some time you start to feel this as a hindrance to your privacy and life as a whole. There may be particular things a girl doesn’t even speak out thinking what the other person would think, and after some time, these become bigger issues and, such ongoing situations may reflect frustrations and hinder a healthy relationship between you two if you choose to stay quiet.
3. Undue Adjustments
Adjustment is an essential component of a happy married life. It is not wrong to make adjustments for your partner, but expecting it only from the girl is not considered right. It should be done from both sides to lead a healthy married life. But, most oftenly, a girl is expected to make more adjustments than the boy. She has to change herself as per the boy or his family and do what they like. Leaving behind her own happiness, her own choices. Adjustment to a level is acceptable but undue adjustment is hard. This is the root cause of frustrations and fights between most couples. It increases the stress level in the marriage and leads to an unhealthy environment.
Marriage is about being together with a companion in your highs and lows, but the reality is different. At times you are lonely and don’t have anyone to talk your heart out. In a completely new family, it gets difficult to talk about certain things and expect them to understand. There are times when even your husband does not understand your side of the story, leaving you with no choice but to feel lonely. This prolonged situation may lead to sadness and depression.
5. The Fear of Being Judged
Marriage life is not always a bed of roses, once the honeymoon phase is over, your real life starts. It may be totally different from what you have expected and life changes upside down. Your new family may judge you for the smallest actions like what you are wearing, what you are eating, how you talk, how you cook, or how you bond with everyone in the family. At times the spouse himself gets critical and starts pointing at you. Criticism is still sometimes okay, but the over criticism acts as a deal-breaker and may make you vulnerable, leading you towards depression and disturbing your mental health.
How to Deal with Mental Issues
A healthy mental state is not only crucial for a happy married life, but also for a content life. You can not live fully if you are not happy from within. If you are facing any of the after-marriage adjustment problems, then, first of all, do not ignore them. It will not go away on its own. You have to work on them positively. Ignoring can multiply it and may lead to new problems affecting your mental health. You must identify the issue and then with your spouse look for the solutions. We recommend a few solutions that may help to improve your situation.
- Healthy Communication
Communication is a small word, but it is very effective in the long run. It is important to maintain healthy communication in every relationship, be it with your friends, parents, or partner. If you do not communicate well, how will the other person understand your feelings and thought processes? We recommend you communicate with your spouse and family, often.
If you are facing any adjustment problems, stay calm and share your feelings with your partner. Make them understand what all adjustments you are making and when you are feeling uncomfortable. Talking about some topics can lead to different perceptions. Once you have conveyed the exact situation, both of you can look up the solution together. Do not hitch to bring up any issue on the table. Discussions bring out the real problems and help them to solve them.
- Staying Positive
Positivity is a virtue. A positive mindset can help you win through difficult situations. It is essential to stay positive about your new relationships and new life. Do not always crib about them, instead, look for positive aspects of your relationship and good things about your partner.
It will help you cope up with the changes and will keep you responsive and positive.
- Keep in Touch with your friends
As people get married, they tend to get so involved in their new relationships that they lose touch with their friends. Try and make time for your old friends and share your new life with them. Your friends know you for a long time and try to understand your situation better than anyone else. They will help you remain positive, and talking to them is the only therapy you will need to make you feel relaxed.
They will be the last people who will judge you for your words, so don’t hesitate and share what’s going on in your heart. A phone call, text message, or video call once a week helps maintain your contact with them. You may also plan monthly outings and cherish your old memories.
- Discuss with your Family
It is important to share your problems with your own family as well as the new family. They should know what you are going through. It will also help them understand your side of the story. Not talking about the problems and ignoring them will further complicate the matters. Try to simplify things and speak out the real stories. Do not compromise at every bit. Take your stand, tell them clearly what you want, it will help everybody to adjust better.
- Take Medical Help
If you feel nothing is working well and you are depressed for a long time, then it is essential to seek medical help.
Medical help is not a social taboo, and it is okay to visit a physiatrist if required. They will help you get out of depression and offer a positive perspective towards life. Do not neglect yourself at any cost.
Getting married doesn’t mean the end of your own life. It is the beginning of a new journey, a different one from your pre-married life, and an exciting one. There may be a few things that you won’t like or face certain ups and downs, but still, it is important to maintain your own identity and be in harmony with your own self. You may have to make a few compromises but that’s what makes relationships beautiful and love-filled. You both would be willing to make efforts for each other, for this new, lifelong relationship, and that’s what makes your companionship special.
Featured Photo: The Royal Affair