Are we talking about that O word today? Yes, not only orgasms but female orgasms! Most of the articles on women xo are for ladies out there but the motive of writing this article is to inform all the sexes so they can understand the complexities of female bodies, their needs, and pleasures. You all may have heard people saying how complex female orgasms are because there is a lot of diversity when we talk about women’s orgasms. Everybody is different and so are orgasms and female orgasms aren’t complicated if you understand them clearly. Before reading this article you need to know that – EVERY BODY IS DIFFERENT!
You must have seen a lot of Hollywood and Bollywood movies. Oh yes, let’s talk about Lust Stories. There is a scene where Vicky Kaushal is done and has an orgasm and he thinks that’s it and lays down on the other side of the bed and Kiara wonders if that was it. That viral scene where Kiara Advani uses a dildo to have pleasure and masturbates still makes people uncomfortable.
There was also a scene in ‘Veere di Wedding’ where a lot of people criticized the scene where Swara Bhaskar masturbates with a sex toy even when she has a husband.
Even in the 21st century, this term makes people uncomfortable, without knowing how important it is for women’s bodies and pleasure. Masturbation is still considered to be an unhealthy activity and women themselves do not know much about orgasms.
The question is why female sexual pleasure is still taboo?
To be a woman is one of the true gifts. Our capacity to experience beautiful things and pleasure is wonderful. But the fact is the expression of female pleasure is often criticized for scandalizing. The story doesn’t end here. The pressure to have an orgasm can make sex stressful and unpleasant.
If we start discussing orgasms in detail then this article can take the form of a book. Let’s first understand what orgasms are!
What is an orgasm?
Orgasm can be defined as the peak of sexual arousal when muscles are tightened and get relaxed. There is a release of hormones called endorphins that gets released into the bloodstream causing relaxation and pleasure. We call orgasm “Charamsukh” in Hindi. It is both a physical and psychological response.
What is a female orgasm?
Female’s heart rate increases during arousal, breathing rate may also increase. As orgasm approaches, the muscles may spasm or twitch. Women may or may not experience orgasm during penetrative sex. Love hormone – Oxytocin is released at a high level while getting an orgasm. We hope we aren’t using complicated words to describe how you feel during orgasm.
How are female orgasms different from men’s orgasms?
Men get orgasms every time they have sex. But the story is not the same on the other side. Female orgasms aren’t that easy and simple. Women do not need an orgasm to ovulate or get pregnant.
(This can be the reason as to why female orgasms aren’t considered important as they have no role in reproducing babies)
Female orgasms last longer than men’s orgasms. Yes, female orgasms can last for 13 to 51 seconds. Females do not have recovery periods unlike men so they can have multiple orgasms if stimulated again. That’s why it is said that it is difficult to satisfy women! No, it’s not! Just understand them and their bodies.
Stages of female orgasms
- Excitement – Arousal building phase during foreplay
- Plateaus – Breathing rate increases
- Orgasm – Climatic burst of pleasure
- Resolution – Relaxing phase
Types of Orgasms
1. G – spot orgasms: Where is this mysterious place? Stop wondering and start exploring your body. It is said to be located on the front wall of the vagina (Don’t stop finding)
G- spots are said to be experienced with penetration. Such orgasms are deep and are full-body experiences.
Women are idols of feminine energy. The mystery is their beauty, so we are going to give you only three must-know points, rest you discover 🙂
2. Clear communication
3. Intense/ prolonged foreplay
It’s not only about physical safety, we are talking about emotional safety, insecurities, and past traumas.
More than 95% of women go through some kinda sexual assault. The very act of getting touched triggers her unconsciously.
Let’s go to the next and the common types of female orgasms which are easy to experience.
2. Clitoral orgasms: Clitoris has a lot of nerve endings. Thus, it’s easy to have clitoris orgasms and these are felt on the surface.
Different positions to stimulate the clitoris:
- Sliding up and down with fingers, sex toys can help you stimulate the clitoris.
- Grind-grinding: Grinding the pelvis region can get you an orgasm.
- Tap dance: tapping motion on the clitoris can help you slowly build an orgasm.
- Vibrations: Vibrating sex toys will help you get there.
3. Nipple orgasm: If you are thinking it’s not possible to get an orgasm by caressing a woman’s nipples then you are wrong here. With enough kissing, sucking, pressing, nipples are the zones that can bring some women to orgasm.
4. Anal orgasm: Anal orgasms aren’t every woman’s cup of tea. Anal orgasms can be experienced by rubbing around the anal opening or stimulating the inside of the anus. But, please use lubricants while having anal sex because anal doesn’t naturally produce lubricant.
5. Blended orgasm: Blended orgasms can be defined as a delightful phenomenon of having two types of orgasms that we already discussed. Clitoris and vaginal orgasms collectively can be called blended orgasms.
6. Multiple orgasms: Multiple orgasms occur when a person climaxes more than once during a sexual act. These are common in women as there is no refractive time for them. They can have multiple orgasms, one after the other.
1. Coregasm (When you work out and you have orgasms): A sex researcher reveals that 1 in 10 women accidentally orgasmed during a workout or exercise. Thus, exercise-induced orgasms are a real thing! Some exercises induce orgasms in women. Oh, is this a motivation for you to hit the gym again? Wink, wink!
2. Orgasm during sleep: Wet dreams! Who doesn’t love sleep and orgasms, haan? But together, Woah! Nocturnal orgasms are also real. It can start with a spacious dream and then eventually there is an elevation of blood flow to the lower part of the woman’s body.
3. C Spot orgasm: C in C Spot orgasm stands for Cervix. It involves nerve endings located in Cervix and around the uterus. Deep penetrations can help you achieve this kind of orgasm. Your partner can use his/her fingers and toys for deep penetrations.
4. Skin orgasm: Orgasm feels like a tingle that runs through your limbs when you hear a particular song. When you get goosebumps or your hair strands stand. This orgasm is also called ‘frisson’
Do women ejaculate?
Ejaculation: Fluid expelling from the urethral opening during sex or orgasm is called ejaculation. Do you know women’s ejaculation is called squirting?
Female ejaculation is a thick, whitish fluid that resembles white milk. Self-stimulation is the best way to get to this point.
According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, between 10 and 50% of women ejaculate during sex. So, don’t worry if you never ejaculated.
This type of orgasm is called squirting orgasm when there is an expulsion of white fluid. We know you might be feeling overwhelmed right now but it’s okay if you don’t know or you aren’t able to experience most of these. Women’s sexuality, likes, pleasures, and dislikes were never discussed before.
Let’s bust some myths around female orgasms
- Masturbation ruins your orgasms with a partner.
- Having an orgasm means you had good sex. Yes, it’s a myth!
- Sex is over when your partner with a penis comes.
- It’s worth it to fake orgasms to make your partner feel good.
- A longer sex is better
- Most women orgasm during sexual activity
- Vaginal orgasms are superior – No, they aren’t. We think probably men must have started this rumor. Lol. Jokes apart, whatever kind of orgasm you are having and enjoying is the best.
Health benefits of orgasms
- An Orgasm can calm you down. If you are someone suffering from anxiety disorder then orgasms can help you with that.
- Post orgasm glow is a real thing. During orgasm, there is an increased rate of blood flow through your body that means more blood cells carry oxygen to your skin.
- Improves circular and fertility
- Promotes healthy estranged levels
- Helps you look younger
- Improved immune system
- Regular menstrual cycle
- Stronger pelvic region
- Improved mood
- Orgasms can help you sleep better
One thing that you must always remember is “Pleasure is a journey, not a destination”. There are women out there who never experienced any orgasm in their lives. So, if you are a woman who didn’t know about orgasm or never experienced it, don’t worry. It’s not a necessity. Having an orgasm doesn’t mean you had good sex or vice-versa. After reading this article you can explore your body more. Understand your body, your pleasures, and your needs. Self-discovery is important for being comfortable with your own body.
Top tips to better orgasms
- Let your partner know what you like and start sharing such things while you direct him in bed.
- Try being creative. Foreplays is the favorite part for most women.
- Exercise your orgasm muscles.
- You can try using a vibrator during intercourse. It helps you get better orgasms.
Normalise female masturbation! Remember how many times you have heard boys casually talking about masturbation. Movies, books talk about men masturbation but what about women masturbation? Women don’t talk or discuss with their female friends! Is it that awkward?
Female masturbation is a topic that is always hushed about. The stigma around female masturbation needs to be cleared. Masturbation and Orgasms are good friends if you are wondering why we started talking about masturbation.
According to a recent study – “In heterosexual relationships, women on average are having fewer orgasms than men” and this is described as the orgasm gap.
If you want to know more about the orgasm gap, do comment in the comment section.
We talked about female orgasm and its diversity but if you want to know more about female masturbation then do let us know. We will prepare another article for you ladies. So don’t shy away and share your thoughts with us!
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Featured Image: Ella Byworth